We all tell ourselves stories. Stories about how brave we are, how smart we are, how creative we are, and how talented we are. Stories about what’s possible and what requires too much work. And these stories create our reality.
When they are positive, encouraging, and full of self-love, these stories ignite our confidence, our self-esteem, and our self-worth. But when they are demeaning, neglectful, and dis-empowering they give energy to our fears, feed our inner critic, and magnify our self-doubt.
They can lead us closer to, or hold us back from, living our version of a super awesome life.
The amazing thing is that we have the power to control our thoughts and change these stories. When we learn to intentionally control our thoughts, we allow ourselves to change our negative thinking, and in turn, change our whole lives.
The 7 Things You Need To Stop Telling Yourself:
1. I don’t have enough time.
When you tell yourself you don’t have enough time, what you’re really saying is that you don’t want to do something. You could be scared that you might fail or scared of what other people will think. Or maybe it’s just not a priority for you right now, which is totally fine. Just be aware of that and be honest.
2. I can’t do it.
Once you say this, it immediately becomes true. If you already believe that you can’t do something, then it’s going to be nearly impossible for you to actually do it. You’re automatically sabotaging yourself. Next time you want to do something but find yourself saying you can’t, reframe that and start with “I can”. Even this simple shift in your mindset can create radical changes.
3. I’m not thin enough.
Seriously, this has to stop. If you’re truly unhappy with the way your body looks, start moving it more often and filling it with whole foods. Go on a walk. Join a gym. Try yoga. And then begin working on loving yourself, just as you are. I mean, this is the only body you’ve got, so it’s important that you learn to love it now.
4. I’ll never be a good as they are.
“They” are the people who seem to have it all together, all the time. They have the cushy job (that they love) and the perfect family and they run half-marathons every weekend. But “they” don’t matter. What matters is that you identify what you want and how you want your life to feel. Once you are clear on that, then begin taking small steps each day to make it a reality.
5. I’m not worth it.
You may feel worthless because you haven’t completed yoga teacher training, you don’t have a boyfriend, or you’re still stuck in your cubicle after 3 years in the corporate world, instead of moving up to that fancy corner office. But the truth is, you will always be worthy, even if you never cross those items off your Life List. Your worth is not determined by your salary or the number of friends you have on Facebook. Right this moment you are worthy of love and kindness and respect and adventure and freedom and security and confidence. You are worthy of it all.
6. I’m not good enough.
Good enough for what? You’re always good enough to try. And once you’ve tried, even if you don’t end up where you expected, you’ve already made more progress and experienced more growth than someone who hasn’t tried at all. You’ve proven to yourself that you’re worth going after your own dreams. So, go for it. You are enough, always.
7. I’m scared.
Fear is the #1 thing that holds us back from living a life we love. It may be fear of failure, fear of disappointing our parents, fear of what others will think, or fear of embarrassing ourselves by not living up to our own expectations. The thing about fear is that it’s only as powerful as you allow it to be. Once you begin ignoring that voice and going after what you want anyway, things become easier. You become happier. And life becomes fuller.
Now that you know the 7 things you need to stop telling yourself, the first step is to recognize them in your daily life. Start to notice when these thoughts appear or when you say these things to yourself.
Once you have a good understanding of these thoughts and when they most often appear for you, you can begin to work on eliminating them.
Begin by acknowledging it, then replace it with a more positive, encouraging statement. For example, when I notice myself feeling scared about something, I acknowledge the fear and then replace that fear-based thought with this supportive and loving reminder: “I am feeling scared right now and that’s okay. I can do this. I have everything I need to be successful in this moment.”
What things do you need to stop telling yourself?
[photo credit: zitona]