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Do You Get Frustrated With People Who Live An “Ordinary” Life?

by Ashley on May 10, 2013 · 9 comments

Most of the world is okay with not living a super awesome life.

Most people surround themselves with competition, anxiety, and exhaustion instead of love, brilliance, and vitality. They talk about the weather instead of spending time stretching their imaginations and creating magic. They focus on what they’re lacking instead of what’s possible.

When we are surrounded by these people, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison and self-doubt.

Do you feel guilty for going after (and getting) your super awesome life?

Do you feel frustrated that people you love aren’t also going after the life they want?

Watch this video to learn how to blast away your guilty conscience + 2 tips for transforming your frustration into compassion and love. 

Leave a comment below sharing how you respond to people who may not be living a super awesome life. I’d love to know!

Have a wonderful weekend. See you Monday!

 

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

BakingSuit May 10, 2013 at 8:13 am

I don’t feel guilty, maybe they see their life IS super awesome for their own reasons. Personally, I feel that my life IS super awesome, but I don’t know that other people agree with me or even that my 22 year old self would have thought so.

Sometimes seemingly Ordinary took a lot of work to build and is just what they want.

As someone who has struggled a lot with guilt and frustration because I see the potential in everyone around me and what’s not being fulfilled, sometimes you have to just realize that you can’t control what others want for themselves and just go with it. Unless you’re stepping on others to create your super awesome life, focus on you, not them.

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Ashley May 16, 2013 at 7:28 am

Yes! I love what you said about how you can’t control what others want for themselves. I think this is something that a lot of us struggle with, so thank you for the reminder!

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Stephany May 11, 2013 at 10:52 pm

Oh, this is a great topic! I feel this way a lot and I don’t think I feel guilty as much as I feel silly about trying to find work that fulfills me rather than just going to a job. I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me “that’s just the way it is.” when I want to scream at them, “NO! It’s not! We don’t have to settle for this!” But since I’m so new to this career thing and most of the people I work with are older than me and have been at this thing for 10-20+ years, they think I’m being naive and it feels very condescending. So I think I just need to realize that not everybody is going to understand the need to live a super awesome life and do MORE than just skimming the surface of life.

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BakingSuit May 15, 2013 at 11:30 am

They may also have found their super awesome life outside of work. I spend 7.5 hours at a job I don’t hate so I can have time and money to do what I love.

Work does not always have to be what you’re passionate about…and in someone like my case, if I had to make money off what I love doing (writing, crafting, baking etc) I wouldn’t love doing it so much. I do what I’m passionate about because I love it, no pressure for money attached. When I make money from it, bonus.

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Ashley May 16, 2013 at 7:33 am

You both make really great points!

Stephany, I also wanted to add that I think our generation is one of the first to realize that we don’t HAVE to stay in a job that doesn’t fulfill us. In the past, it was just accepted as something you did, even if you hated it. But now we are realizing it is possible to have a job we enjoy and that we actually deserve that! Your coworkers may not understand that, but perhaps explaining to them that you want to spend 40+ hours a week doing something that fills you up, rather than drains you and you deserve that too. It sounds a bit self-righteous, but in the end, if you’re doing work you love, you’ll be adding so much more to the world, so it will actually benefit all of us. :)

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christina May 19, 2013 at 3:53 pm

YES! I agree 100%. For the longest time, I felt like I failure because I don’t work in a creative industry. Nor do I own a side business, which feels almost expected for twentysomethings these days. At least in my neck of the woods, there’s a strong ideal that your ambition should not end after putting in eight hours of work at your day job; that you should attempt to churn your hobbies into profitable pursuits. Although I’m not especially fulfilled with my day job, I can’t say I have any desire to spend my free time kitting and selling eternity scarves on the side to supplement my income. Like the poster above, I too, work at a job that I “don’t hate” because it pays well and I never have to work overtime. That allows me plenty of time to spend with my boyfriend, play with my dog, exercise, and go off on a bunch of mini-adventures. I might not have it ALL, but I have a good 85%. And most importantly, I’m happy : )

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Victoria May 16, 2013 at 7:19 am

Ashley! Thanks for answering my question! (What a cool surprise :)

Stephany also hit the nail on the head. I do feel naive sometimes around others who just ‘know’ life is only going to go one way, and later the guilt steps in when I don’t follow the troubled path they do and I hear them still struggling (and I didn’t know how to help them).

Don’t get me wrong, I have my own troubles! And I can see how not being able to help them can be a little about me (why couldn’t MY perspective help them?).

Your video was dead on with what I was learning this week. One – that support from people also living lives they love is important, and Two – to stand for what it is I really want for myself (no one else is going to do that). And actually Three – to just bring love and compassion to others, instead of frustration or guilt.

There isn’t even a “super awesome life” we all have to get to someday! There is no where to get, and when I stop expecting others to get somewhere, too, I enjoy my life and them more.

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Ashley May 16, 2013 at 7:36 am

You’re so welcome, Victoria. I’m glad the video was helpful for you. What you said is so true about there not being a “super awesome life” to get to some day. It’s not destination or a race. It’s about creating a life that feels good to you. One that adds positive energy and inspiration and joy and one that makes you feel like the best version of you. I can tell you are already creating that for yourself and I’m so excited for you! xo

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Rahul January 10, 2014 at 9:17 am

I’m a techie from a tier-1 institute from India. I did B.tech in Computer Science 2 years back and got placed in Amazon, owing to my good grades in graduation and other relevant skills which were necessary (like project, summer training, etc). A good friend of mine couldn’t succeed to score well during graduation as a result of which he didn’t get the opportunity to sit in most of the campus interviews of reputed firms. After completion of graduation, .. most of my batchmates got placed in good software and financial firms except 2 or 3 (including my good friend). He tried in many firms but couldn’t succeed as his low grades and lack of relevant skills posed hindrance. So, finally he went for a startup. with some other guys. He is successfully running a small scale enterprise of masonry. (His annual income is at par with me and expected to overtake mine in coming years, .. & above all, .. more satisfaction with no boss on his head)..
Morale: There’s no dearth of opportunities, … but we’re so much focused on the closed door that we’re not able to see the door which is open & above all, NEVER, NEVER underestimate anybody, he/she might surprise you any day. He taught me How create your own life and be your own boss. Thats called a super awesome life.

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