I woke up this morning and didn’t want to get out of bed.
My throat was sore and, really, the comforter was just way too comfortable.
Since I wrote my to-do list last night, I knew what was on the schedule for today and none of it sounded particularly fun at 7am.
But I peeled myself off of the mattress and went for a run. (That’s what you do when you’re training for a marathon.)
Somewhere around mile 3, I started crying.
Yes, I was that ridiculous girl crying as she ran down the sidewalk. And I don’t even know why.
Stress? Hormones? Overwhelm? The sun was shining too brightly?
The truth is, things are hard.
Life is hard.
I’m moving this week, which is awesome, but so much work.
I’m dating and whoa if that isn’t confusing/crazy/fun.
I’m creating a super-secret thing for Your Super Awesome Life which is going to be amazeballs when it’s finished, but it’s totally stressing me out right now.
And I’m just trying to run a business from my laptop that pays my bills and lets me live a life I love.
I know I have too many projects on my plate. I know I’m juggling too much and pushing too many things forward (things that I’m actually really excited about!), but sometimes it all becomes too much.
Coaching calls. Launching new programs. Writing blog posts. Sending out newsletters. Creating free content to built my list. Answering emails. Writing guest posts. Making videos. Building relationships with other business owners. Connecting with clients.
It feels like I’m never doing enough. I’m not being creative enough. I’m not reaching out to as many potential clients as I could. I’m not writing enough. I’m not being helpful enough. I’m not being unique enough. Enough. Enough Enough.
The tricky thing about working for yourself is that you don’t have to do anything. No one is standing over your shoulder making sure you meet the deadlines. No one cares, except you.
But you know if you don’t do the work, it won’t get done. And then you don’t make any money. And then you feel guilty about going out to brunch on Sunday morning and that just adds to your stress.
When you fall into this dark mindset, it feels like an endless cycle.
I’m not saying that I don’t love what I do. I really, really do. I wouldn’t change it for anything.
And I’m not saying that I’m not incredibly grateful for my clients and everything I’ve created with Your Super Awesome Life.
I’m just saying that sometimes it’s hard.
In this crazy world of online business, it’s easy for things to appear perfect or steady or like they’re always running seamlessly.
And I get it. It’s probably a good idea to portray yourself and your business as near-perfect. Like you have it all together and know what you’re doing. But that’s not the truth for me right now. That’s not authentic.
The authentic me is struggling today.
She’s wearing yoga pants and no make-up and drinking coffee at 1pm. She’s wondering how she’s going to get her next client. She’s worried that she won’t fill her next program and won’t reach her goals for this month.
She’s hopeful that the tide will go out soon and she’ll feel secure, inspired, and light once again. But today, she’s struggling.
And she wants you to know that if you’re struggling too, you’re not alone.
[photo credit: pullip_junk]